


All these broken pieces

by Justtokeepreading



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Comfort, Domestic Violence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Feels, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-14
Updated: 2018-01-14
Packaged: 2019-03-04 23:07:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13374996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Justtokeepreading/pseuds/Justtokeepreading
Summary: Leon is in love, but it's his best friend, who is already in a relationship with someone else.Someone that does not treat him the way he deserves.WARNING this fic contains domestic abuse that does NOT take place between the ships and isn't talked about in great detail but it is there so if this is triggering for you please take caution.





	All these broken pieces

**Author's Note:**

> This is so much different then what I normally do. My normal stuff is a lot shorter, fluffy, and written in third person instead of first. So it might be a little weird. But I really wanted to try writing a fic that had abuse in it and I was feeling angsty so this is the result. I hope you like it.

Imagine meeting the boy of your dreams, He acts cold at first, but really he is a giant dork. His face is adorable, all of him is really. And he is just perfect, and everytime you see him you want to hug him and kiss him and confess your undying love to him.

But you can’t. Because he is your best friend, and what makes it even worse is that he’s in a relationship with a jealous asshole. Does that sound like hell? Because it is. My own personal hell. It might have be a little easier if he has a boyfriend that isn’t a giant dick.

“Hey Em what do you want to watch?”

Emil shrugs, “I don’t really care, you choose,”

“I’ve chosen what we watched for the past few hours, come on choose something too.”

“You do realise we’ll be watching puffin documentaries, right?”

I laugh, “like we’ve never done that before, and I made you sit through that ‘say yes to the dress’ marathon’.”

“Don’t complain half way through though,” Emil smiles softly.

“Never.” I zap the channel to a puffin documentary, just when we get into a comfortable silence again  Emil’s phone rings. He tenses up at the sound.

“You okay?”

“Fine… I just need to take this.” He answers the call.

I’ll give you one guess who it is.

“Hi winston…”

I can’t hear what his boyfriend says, just a faint voice.

“I told you I’d hang out with Leon today.”

He yells this time, but I still can’t make out what he’s saying.

“No, I’m not cheating on you.”

Because Emil is totally the type that would cheat. Jesus. This dude has like at least four people on the side on a regular basis. And I’m not even counting the the one night stands. SAdly I have no proof, and Emil swears Winston loves him.

“Okay… I’ll come home.”

The urge to punch Winston increases yet again.

“yes, I love you too…” He hangs up the phone.

I groan, “do you have to leave now?”

“Kinda……”

“That asshole is a control freak.”

“He just wants to spend time with me.”

“Funny how he never wants to do that whenever you’re having a bad day.”

“Leon stop.”

“Sorry, he just gets on my nerves. Do I need to take you home?”

“No I can manage.” Emil stands up, and I hate that he has to leave, why couldn’t I confess to him when I still had a chance? That dick doesn’t deserve him.

I also stand up, “I’ll walk you out.”

“Thank you.”

We both walk to the door of my apartment, he puts his coat on over his oversized sweater and zips it. “I’ll text you,” he moves to open the door.

“Don’t I get a goodbye hug?”

Emil hugs me softly and I hug him back. I wish we could stay like this forever, but I need to let him go.

“You know I’ll always be there for you right?”

He nods, “I know, I’ll see you later Leon.”

“Bye,” I wave after him as he walks out of the door.

I swear, that asshole did something to him, he’s more closed up then he used to be.

* * *

“Aren’t you hot in that? It’s like 30 degrees.” I ask Emil while I scoop frozen yoghurt into my mouth.

“It’s fine,” he says, but I can obviously see him tug at the collar of his sweater between licks from his ice cream cone.

“Is something wrong?”

Emil hesitates.

“No, why would it be?”

“You seem a little distant.”

“I just have a lot on my mind.”   


Why won’t he talk to me? Aren’t we best friends? Does he not trust me anymore?”

“Like what?”

“Nothing important.”

Did I do something wrong?

“Oh… Okay”

I look around the park where we are currently on a bench eating our frozen treats. A group of guys close to us are loudly playing a game of football. Kicking and screaming, trying to get the ball in the goal.

Emil flinches slightly everytime they get a little too close or yell a little bit too loudly.

Seriously, what’s wrong, why can’t he tell me?

Emil finishes his ice cream cone and starts picking at his jeans, “can we go somewhere else?”

“Sure, where do you want to go?”

“Your place?”

“Alright,” I throw away my empty frozen yoghurt cup and stand up, “let’s go.”

We walk to the way my apartement, Emil sticks close to me, not touching me, but almost. Then I spot someone I do not want to see.

Winston.

I can’t get Emil away before he spots us, his face neutral but his eyes carry hate when they look at me. He walks to us. Emil’s face is unreadable.

“I thought I’d find you here,” Winston possessively wraps an around Emil’s waist and kisses his neck.

I feel sick.

“So what were you two doing?”

“Just getting ice cream…” Emil avoids both our eyes, leaning slightly away from Winston.

You couldn’t have gotten ice cream with me?” Winston says half jokingly but he must have tightened his grip on Emil’s waist because I can see my best friend flinch.

“Can’t a guy hang out with his best friend?” I ask Winston with a smile, he only glares back.

“I don’t see why he needs you when he has me.”

“Are your that insecure about your relationship that you get jealous of Emil spending time with me?”

Winston growls and tightens his grip on Emil’s waist so much that Emil squeaks.

Fuck.

“Please like he’d ever go for someone like you.”

Ouch, that hurts, I know Emil doesn’t like me that way, but does he need to rub it in?

“Winston…”

“What? Are you saying you would?” He looks at Emil coldly.”

“I… Um…”

Winston grabs Emil’s chin roughly and pulls him into a bruising kiss, “you belong to me,” he growls.

I hate him, I hate him, I hate him, I hate him.

“let’s just leave…” Emil starts pulling Winston away, he doesn’t even say goodbye.

* * *

 

“Are you wearing makeup?” I ask Emil when I really get a chance to look at his face while we wait for our orders in our favourite cafe. His face has uneven splotches of skin that look just a little darker than normal. He absentmindedly wipes at his cheek with his thumb.

“A little.”

“Why? I thought you didn’t like makeup, didn’t you tell me it was too much work and too expensive?”

“I decided to change it up a little.”

“You’re wearing the wrong shade of concealer, it’s too dark.”

“Oh.”

“Want to go to a store after thus so I can help you pick the right shade?”

“please.”

I study his face again, he looks a little different, fragile, or maybe that is just because I haven’t seen him for the last two weeks. Anytime I invited him he’d decline. He said he was sick, but he wouldn’t let me visit.

“So did you do anything interesting lately?”

“Not really, you?”

“I went to some parties, they were cool, but they would have been more fun with you.”

“I hate parties.”   
  
“I know you do, but the times you do go with me are always more fun.”

“This is more fun.”   
  
I smile at Emil, “It is, I get to spend one on one time with you.”

He blushes slightly, and if I wasn’t in love already I would fall for him right there.

“We should have a sleep over sometime.”

He fidgets with his sleeve, “I don’t think that’s such a good idea, Winston is kinda going through a though time right now, he doesn’t want me away too long.”

Is this guy even going to steal him away as my friend? Is he that selfish? How much does he want to take?

The waitress walks to our table and sets down our drinks with a smile, she winks at me and slides me a napkin with hera number on it, it must be hers, she walks away again.

“I think she likes you,” Emil stirs his coffee.

“Looks like it, I’m not really looking for anything right now tough.”

“Not even a one night stand?” he teases.

How can I possibly do that when I’m too hung up on you.

“Do I really act like the type?”

He shrugs, “you used to have them a lot.”   
  
Ah yes, my one night stand fase, back when I thought sleeping with as many people as possible would help me get over my crush. Only to realise after regretful mornings and always having Emil’s face in the back of my head, something that made me feel very guilty, that it wasn’t a crush, it was love.

And it still is.

“I’m kind of over that, it’s a little annoying to wake up and not know where your pants are.”

“I wouldn’t know.”   


No, instead you are dating an ass that doesn’t treat you right.

“Be happy you don’t, it’s not much fun.”

We change the subject and finish our drinks.

* * *

Emil hasn’t contacted me in a month. He doesn’t answer my texts or pick up his phone. I haven’t seen his face for so long and I’m worried out of my mind.

I even went by his place a couple times, no one answered no matter how many times I rang the bell or knocked. The curtains were closed everytime and I don’t have a spare key.

My phone rings, and to my utter surprise the caller ID says it’s Lukas, Emil’s brother.

Why would he call me?

“Hello, this is Leon.”   
  
“Hi Leon, I’m sorry for calling you, but have you heard anything from Emil lately?”

My heart sinks, “no, I haven’t, you?”

“Not a word.”

“I’m worried.”   
  
I can hear Lukas sigh through the phone, “me too, is there anything we can do?”

“He won’t even answer the door,” I bite my lip.

“Call me when you know anything.”

“I will, please do the same.”   
  
“I promise,” Lukas ends the call.

What the hell is going on? Emil what happened to you?

* * *

I have a hangover, I thought clubbing would take my mind off of Emil, but this headache is not worth it. At least I didn’t need to look for my pants when I woke up, I don’t know how but somehow I got home last night.

I take an advil for my headache and open my fridge in search of something to eat.

Just my luck to only have a half full bottle of soda and a sandwich that has probably been there for the last couple weeks. Time to go grocery shopping I guess.

I look in the mirror and after fixing my hair a little I deem my appearance acceptable to go outside. With wallet and keys in my coat pocket I open the door. In my hungover state I almost don’t see the person sleeping against the wall across from my door, but I do. 

Because how could I ever mis Emil? 

He’s sound asleep, his bangs falling partly over his eyes, the right one is bruised. He looks so small and broken.

I crouch in front of him and softly pike his shoulder, trying not to scare or hurt him. But despite my care he still snaps his eyes open, fear clearly evident in them. Once he realises its me the fear disappears mostly, but I can still see tenseness in his shoulders.

“Hey Leon…”

I pull Emil into a tight hug, but pull back immediately when I hear him hiss in pain.”

“I missed  you.” I want to ask him so many questions, but he probably won’t want to answer them right now, they can wait.

“I missed you too.”

“Do you want to come inside? I don’t really have much to eat but I can make you coffee.”   
  
“Coffee sounds amazing right now,” he stands up, his legs tremble a little. 

I pick up the suitcase sitting next to him and take it inside, “just make yourself comfortable on the couch, if you need anything you probably know where it is.”

“Thank you,” Emil sits down on the couch, he fumbles with his sweater sleeve.

I want to strangle Winston, no one else could have done this to Emil, but I need to be there for him, right now he needs a friend, not someone punching that asshole.

I turn on the kettle and set down two mugs, instant coffee in one, a teabag in the other. once the water finished boiling I pour it into the mugs, and take them to the couch, where I sit next to Emil.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

He tugs his knees to his chest, curling into a little ball, “I guess.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I think I kind of owe you an explanation.”

“You don’t, but if you want to talk then I’m here for you.”

“Thank you,” Emil brings his cup to his mouth to take a sip of coffee, it’s still too warm and he burns his tongue.

“Hot,” he quickly takes the drink away from his mouth.

“Careful, you’re so impatient.”

“I’m thirsty.”

“Do you want some water? Or something cold for your eye? I might have some frozen peas in the freezer.”

“painkillers?”   
  
“Yeah sure,” I stand up and get Emil an advil and a glass of water. He thanks me and eagerly gulps down the water after taking the tablet.

“Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.”

“I treated you horribly, yet you’re still helping me.”

“You never treated me horribly.”

“I didn’t talk to you in over a month.”

“I think you had your reasons.”  


“Kinda…”

“Do you want to talk about those reasons?”

Emil takes a deep breath.

“Winston is abusive.”   
  
“I thought so…”

“I tried to leave him, but every time…”

“It would get worse?”

He nods, I can see tears starting to form in his eyes.

“Do you want a hug?”

He nods again and leans into my chest, I carefully drape my arms over him and rub his back. The tears start flowing and he sobs.

“Ssh, it’s okay Em, I’m not going to let him hurt you again, you’re safe.”

He cries for a long time, I just hold him close, helpless. Forced to watch someone so dear to me broken apart. Emil never deserved this.

“He said he loved me,” Emil cries out between the sobs.

“If he truly loved you he wouldn’t have hurt you this way, that’s not love.”

“I know, but then why does it hurt so much?”

“I wish I knew Emil, I wish I knew.”

We sit in silence for a while, then I remember Lukas must still be worried out of his mind.

“Did you contact your brother yet?”

Emil shakes his head, “Winston took my phone.”

I hand him my phone opened on Lukas’s contact information, “use mine.” He thanks me and presses call. I can  faintly hear a couple beeps before Lukas answers the call.

“Leon? Have you heard anything from Emil?” He sounds so tired and heartbroken.

“Hi brother…”

“Emil?! Oh my god I’m so happy to hear your voice! Where the hell have you been?”

“I don’t really want to talk about that now…”   
  
“Where are you right now? Are you safe?”   
  
“I’m at Leon’s place.”

“Do I need to pick you up?”

Emil bites his lip.

“You can stay as long as you like,” I tell him.

He covers the speaker on the phone, “are you sure? I don’t want to be a burden.”

I sigh, “Emil, you’ll never be a burden to me, do you want to stay?”

“I don’t want my brother to see me like this, but I don’t want to be alone…”

“Then stay.”

He nods and places the phone back to his ear, “no, I’m staying here.”

“…Okay, call me if you need me, I’ll come by sometime soon.”

“I will.”

“I love you Emil.”   
  
“I love you too Lukas.”

Emil ends the call and places the phone on the table.

“Are you okay?”

“As okay as I can be.”

“Sorry, stupid question.”   
  
“It’s fine, shows that you care.”   
  
I was going to reply but Emil’s stomach cuts me off with a loud growl.

“Hungry?”

Then my stomach growls loudly too.

“Looks like you’re hungry too.”

“Want me to get some groceries?”

“Can we go together?”

“Of course we can.”

“Just let me put some stuff on this first,” he motions to his eye. Emil gets off the couch and takes a tube of very pale concealer out of his bag, in front of the mirror he applies it using his fingers so that the bruise is mostly hidden.

Would he still need to do that if I had noticed and done something? Maybe if I had confessed we’d be preparing for a date now. Or maybe I would have lost him entirely, maybe if I had he wouldn’t be here now.

I need to stop thinking in these maybes. What’s important is that he’s here now. Out of Winston’s clutches, away from harm.

Emil turns to me, “is it still noticeable?”

“You look great, don’t worry.”

He scoffs, “great?”

“Okay not great, but have you seen my hair? No one will like at you when I have this embarrassment on my head.”

Emil smiles softly, a sight I have missed so much, “don’t be such a drama queen.”

* * *

“Are you sure you’ll let me sleep in your bed? I can take the couch instead.”

“Don’t be silly, take the bed.”

“If you keep on being this nice to me I might stay forever.”

“Be my guest, I’d love to have you here for forever.”

“I might consider it then.”

I smile at him, “you should, good night Emil.” I try to get comfy under the thin blanket on the couch.

“Good night…” I watch Emil walk into my bedroom, his puffin pajamas a couple sizes too big on him, he claims it’s comfortable.

I still can’t believe he’s back. I hope it’s not a dream, that would be the cruelest dream ever.

After a couple minutes I can hear the soft patter of feet, when I open my eyes I can see Emil’s face peeking out of my bedroom.

“I, um, don't really want to be alone.”

“Do you want me to stay with you until we fall asleep?”

“Can we just sleep together? It’s not like we haven’t done it before and it would make me feel more comfortable.”

I smile softly, “of course we can.”

I get out from under the covers and walk the short distance to the doorway, Emil sends me a smile. We both get under the covers of my bed, he shifts closer to me and I lightly hug him to my chest. His head is laying on my shoulder so that I can feel his breathing.”   
  
“comfortable?”

Emil nods, tracing circles on my chest with his index finger. “I hated not being able to see you.”

“Probably not as much as I did.”

“I doubt it,”his face turns a little sad again.

I hug him a little bit tighter, “let’s just say we hated it the same amount.”

“Deal.”   
  
Emil closes his eyes and lets out a satisfied sigh, “I haven’t felt like this in months.”

“Like what?”

“Save, warm, happy.”

“I can’t tell if that’s sweet or sad.”

“Both?”

“Both,” I agree, and we both drift off to sleep.

* * *

We sit at the table eating cereal, it’s 1 pm. Emil had slept long, a lot longer then I had. I hadn’t wanted to wake him by moving, so I had just observed him as he slept in my arms. The bruises clear as day where his shirt rode up on his pale skin. I felt sick.

This isn’t the same Emil I once knew, not entirely, he doesn’t tease me as much, he has a wall up, but it’s not his usual coldness, this wall is crumbling with every breath he takes. His once unblemished skin is scattered with bruises and cuts and scars, some old, some newer.

He also hasn’t changed a bit, his manners are still the same, that secret soft smile I missed so much.

He’s different but the same, And I still love everything about him.

I must have been staring because Emil looks at me funnily.

“Is something wrong? You’re kind of spacing out.”

“I’m just happy to have you back.”

Emil tries to hide his blush by drinking from his coffee, but I can see that the tips of his ears are red, “I’m happy to be back.”

“Good, is there anything you want to do today?”

“Stay inside and watch shitty movies?”

“Heck yeah, I’ll order pizza for dinner.”   
  
He smiles that perfect soft smile again, “sounds perfect.”

* * *

In the middle of our third movie someone knocks on my door, it must be the pizza. I pause the movie and grab my wallet before I open the door.

Bad news, it’s not the pizza guy.

Even worse news, it’s Winston.

Please Emil, be as sociable as you always are and stay on that couch.

“Hello Wiston, how ya doing?” I want to punch him, but he’s two heads taller than me, so that might not be the best idea.

“Where is Emil? That bitch must be here, he’s cheating on me with you.”

I grit my teeth, don’t punch him Leon, he’ll break your nose, and you promised you brother you would honour kung fu and only use it for self defence.

“I don’t know, I haven’t heard from him in a while.”

“Don’t fucking lie to me.”

“he’s not here, now go away before I call the police.” I slam the door in his face and look through the peephole to make sure he leaves, he must have given up because he does.

“Was that Winston?” Emil squeaks from his spot on the couch, he’s even paler than normal and shaking.

“Yeah, but he’s gone now,” I sit back down and hug Emil, “he won’t hurt you, I won’t let him.”

Emil takes a few shaky breaths but calms down.

“Can I ask why you didn’t press charges?”   
  
“That way it’d just be easier for him t find me, and once whatever thing that keeps him away no longer applies he’ll be back and very angry.”

“That makes sense.”   
  
“And people wouldn’t really believe me.”

“What?! Why wouldn’t they?”

Emil shrugs, “abuse victims often get blamed for what happened to them.”   
  
“But you’re literally covered in evidence.”

Emil self consciously tugs his shirt down a little more, “so you saw them…”

Crap I shouldn’t have said that.

“Your shirt rode up in your sleep, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to look.”

“I hate the way my body looks now, it’s all a constant reminder of choosing the wrong guy.”

“You can’t really choose who you fall in love with.”

“It wasn’t love, not really, we just pretended. At least I did.”

“Why did you pretend?”

Emil studies his nails, “maybe we both needed a substitute.”   
  
“For what?”   
  
“Unrequited love?”

“You’re in love with someone else?”

“Kinda.”   
  
“And you didn’t tell me who,” I pout, “I feel so betrayed.”

Why can’t it be me for once?

“It’s not that important.”   
  
“I think it is.”

Emil shrugs again.

“Wait but if you didn’t love him then why did you stay?”

“I kinda got sucked into the illusion, and I was scared.”

“Understandable.”

He hides his face in my chest, “Why is love so difficult?”

“Because life is difficult?”

Emil chuckles softly, “that’s such a stupid answer.”

“I know, but I don’t really have a better one.”   
  
“Well if you ever figure it out then you need to tell me.”

I chuckle and stroke his hair, “I will.”

This time when someone knocks on the door I look through the peephole before answering it, thankfully this time it actually is the pizza guy.

* * *

 

“Domestic abuse?” Lukas’s mouth is open in shock. Mathias, his boyfriend, is uncharacteristically quiet. Emil keeps his eyes fix on his lap, I squeeze his hand tighter in reassurance.

Lukas and Mathias came by to check up on Emil, neither was sure what had happened to him, but they’d support him no matter what.

Emil was a little hesitant at first to tell them, afraid of his older brother judging him. But after some coaxing and me holding his hand he told us all the entire story.

I won’t give you the details, trust me, you don’t want them.

My blood is boiling, how could that ass do this to Emil? I want to scream and break stuff and punch someone, but I need to stay calm for Emil.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Lukas asks. Emil shifts a little closer to me and shrugs.

“Do you know how worried we’ve been? We didn’t hear anything for a month!” 

Mathias places his hand on Lukas his shoulder, “babe calm down.”

Lukas relaxes, “sorry…”

“I think what Lukas is trying to say is that we’re really happy you’re safe now, and we hope that next time you’ll talk to us before it escalates that much,” Mathias smiles brightly.

“I will.”

I squeeze Emil’s hand even tighter, “I won’t let it come to that.” He smiles at me and mouths ‘thank you’.

“Where does he live again? I’d like to give him a taste of his own medicine.” 

“Brother no.”

“Why not?”

“You’ll only make it worse, I just want him to leave me alone.”

Lukas groans, “fine, but if he ever tries anything I’m punching him.”

“When we first met you punched me because I got the last cup of coffee before the machine ran out.”

“It was 6am on a Monday, can you blame me?”

Mathias pouts, “I gave you the coffee afterwards.”

Emil giggles softly at his brother and Mathias their banter, I smile at him, because it’s still unbelievable he’s back.

* * *

 

“I still can’t believe you managed to drag me into this,” Emil grumpily crosses his arms, not all too happy that I managed to drag him into a club.

“We need to let loose a little! Clubs are fun.”

“Maybe for you, but I don’t like them. And we could have had fun watching that pingu marathon at home.”

“We’ve seen all episodes at least twenty times now.”

Emil groans and tugs at his shirt collar, “at least there’s alcohol here. You can’t see anything right?”

I had managed to get him into a tight shirt and skinny jeans, we had put some makeup on the fading bruises. I could have died when he got out of the bathroom and asked me how he looked. He looks so good.

“You look amazing, don’t worry, what about me?”

He smirks, “your hair looks stupid.”

I gasp dramatically, “it does not.”   


“It does, even dorkier than normal.”

“Your hair is the dorkiest,” I take a shot to mourn my hair being called dorky.

“Do you want to dance?”

Emil scowls, “you know I can’t dance.”

“I’ll teach you!”

“No.”

“Well then do you mind if I go dancing?”

“Go ahead, just don’t hook up with some random dude or chick and leave me hanging.”   
  
“I promise, shout my name if you need me.”   
  
I walk to the middle of the dance floor and start dancing, sometimes people join me, sometimes they cheer me on. It’s fun, let’s me let loose. I missed this, being careless, but my mind is still on Emil, checking every couple minutes to make sure he’s okay sometimes he sees me watching him and sticks his tongue out, I stick mine back out at him.

“Hey,” a girl flirtatiously says to me as she twirls her hair, “are you here alone?” She places her hand on my shoulder.

“No, I’m here with my friend.”   
  
She smirks, “would he care if I stole you away?”

I can‘t answer because all of a sudden my hand is grabbed by Emil as he pulls me away from the girl. 

“Sorry, he’s kinda busy with me right now, go find some horny dude to fuck.” 

The girl storms off annoyed.

I laugh, “what was that all about?”

“I decided to dance.”

“Alright,” I wrap my arms around his waist and he snakes his arms around my neck, we sway out of beat to the music, more like a slow dance then a club dance. I don’t care though, and neither does Emil. The club lights give colour his face, he looks breathtaking. It takes all my self restraint to not kiss him until we are both out of breath. I can’t do that to him, he’s my best friend, he trusts me.

And he’s in love with someone else.

Man, that’s still a bitter thing.

“This isn’t as bad as I thought it would be.”   
  
“If you thought it would be bad then why did you decide to dance?”

“That girl was looking at you like you were a piece of meat.”

“Aww Em, were you jealous?”

Emil scowls, but I can just make out the tiny blush creeping onto his cheeks, “why would I be?”

“Because you don’t want your glorious best friend stolen away?”

“More like protect your stupid ass from her groping hands.”

“I have an amazing ass.”

We dance more, at one point a slower song comes on and our swaying starts to actually match the beat. I’m just marveling at the fact that I’m dancing with Emil when something happens I never expected.

Lips.

Emil’s lips.

Emil is kissing me.

My eyes are wide open, his are closed.

Before I can even try to kiss back he pulls away and opens his eyes again.

“I… Um… That was a mistake.” He runs out of the club.

My brain short cuts for a couple second and I touch my lips with my fingertips. 

He kissed me?

I turn into a run, out of the club, through the streets, in the distance I can see Emil going into our apartment building and I start sprinting.

When I finally enter our appartement I’m just in time to hear Emil lock the bathroom door.

Why did he kiss me? And why did he run? Am I a substitute?

I swallow my fear and knock on the bathroom door, “Emil?”

“I’m sorry,” his voice is soft, trembling.

“Can you open the door please?”

He opens the door a tiny bit, I lean against the wall so I can look him in the eye.

“Can I ask why you kissed me?”

He avoids my gaze.

“Emil?”

“I’m sorry.”   
  
I sigh and drag my hand over my face, “Emil please answer the question instead of apologising.”

“Because I wanted to…”

“Am I a substitute?” I hate to ask this, but I have too. I know he’d never use me like that, but there’s still that fear in the back of my mind.

“No! Why would you think that?”

“Winston was.”

Emil closes his eyes, “I can’t really talk myself out of this without making myself look bad, huh,” he sighs, “I might as well tell you the truth.”

“What truth?”

“That I’m in love with you, and have been for a long time. I started dating Winston because I thought you’d never like me back, it was nice at first, but I once he started to realise I had more eyes for you than him he started to get abusive.”

Does that make it my fault?

“And then I got away, and you were the only one I could think of running too, and you let me stay here, cared for me. Meanwhile I keep hoping that something might happen between us, that you’ll care for me like I care for you.”   
  
He’s in love with me?

“I know it’s hopeless, and I kind of took advantage of you.”

With me? Emil? In love with me?

“I guess that girl made me jealous and I couldn’t help myself and stuff happened.”

He’s in love with me.

Tears start to roll of Emil’s cheeks, he looks me in the eye, “please say something.”

“You love me?”

He nods.

“Emil please get out of the bathroom.”

He opens the door fully and steps out.

“I’ll go get my stuff…” He tries to get past me to the bedroom but I pull him into a tight hug before he can.

“Leon?”

“I love you too.”

Emil clings onto my shirt, “you do?”

“I have for a very long time.”

We look at each other.

“So what are we now?” Emil asks.

“What do you want to be.”

“I don’t know…”

I kiss his forehead, “then take your time to figure it out, I’ll wait.”

“You will?”

“I’ve waited a very long time, and I pretty much gave up hope, I can wait as long as you want me to, because now I know that you love me like I love you.”

“You’re a dork.”

“I know, hopefully I can be your dork.”

“Aren’t you already?”

“Do you want me to be?”

“Yes.”   
  
“Then yes I am.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


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